"God will never give you anything you can't handle... I just wish he didn't trust me so much"
sooooo I used to think that was a really witty little quote. And then we got married. But let me back up because it's not the marriage that's the problem. In fact more than once during the last (almost) 2 years someone has come up to me and said "you guys must really be right for each other to be so strong together during this" or "my marriage would have never survived this!".
No, it's not my marriage. It's L.I.F.E. Let's do a brief run-down shall we?
May '08- we got married : )
Sept '08- I fell down the stairs & spent the morning in the ER, we went to the drug store to get the scripts filled after we left the ER and mom called to say my grandmother had died. The day of her funeral J's union went on strike... and we lost more than 50% of our weekly income
Dec '08- Christmas, strike style.... we also found out we were pregnant
Jan '09- J FINALLY went back to work from the strike & things settled down (some)
Mar '09- we started the adoption process for my hubz to adopt my older son
Summer '09- VERY pregnant= miserable
Aug '09- after a particularly rough labor... the baby is born! He's big, but healthy.
Sept '09- We found the hydrocephalus... MRI, X-rays, etc. we also find out the baby has no insurance... and we are facing brain surgery
Oct '09- Still no insurance, and they want $30,000 up front before the surgery.. in 7 days
Nov. '09- We got approved for the insurance just in time for brain surgery #1. J's great-grandmother died the same day. Ten days later he started showing signs of infection and after being rushed to the ER he had surgery #2. We spent a week in the hospital trying to clear up the infection. We were only allowed to hold him for about 30 minutes a day. At the end of that week, he had brain surgery #3.
Dec. '09- The adoption was finalized (!) and they send us home with the baby... and an IV for two weeks I get to play nurse 'round the clock. our savings have been depleted by medical bills and time off work, etc. we are having a really hard time staying afloat (oh, and Christmas is coming!)
Jan. '10- My 4 year old has his adenoids taken out and tubes put in his ears
Feb. '10- on my car's 1 year birthday J wrecked it into a wall... thankfully he and the kids are just fine
This brings us to today. Dad had a colonoscopy and found what they are 99% sure is cancer. We are waiting on the labs to confirm....
I'm ready to throw in the towel. I just want to tell God "OK! It's time to pick on someone else!!" It just seems like everytime we can breathe again from having the wind knocked out of us, they throw another punch. I don't want to spend my life wondering when the next crisis is going to happen... but it just seems like we can't let our gaurd down. I just don't know anymore.
